AWAKENED.

[EDIT]I love me some home cooked food. kuddos to the mother <3 yum. Salmon con Shrimp. BAKED

So I guess its been quiet a while since I've been on this thing. Is it okay to think you're bipolar sometimes? Is it okay that its acceptable to you? Hmph... Not saying that I am... but of course I think some of us have those feelings where we feel like something one day, and weeks and/or months later we feel completely opposite? Wonder if that's the cycle of life, it evolves and changes, and at times brings us back to the same place... again.

Its Sunday morning 3:47 AM & I have no sleep in my eyes. Sure as hell my body's tired but not in the mood to go sleep and waste my precious time. Feeling as if there are many things that have been left unsaid and certain things should be coming out real soon for discovery. If I shut down now, then those words will be lost in the mist of uncertainty and beg to come out again.

memory lane

Nothing in this world can take away that feeling. No matter how much fun you have, no matter how the amounts of people that still till this day love you can take away the feeling you feel for *.

At times I don't want to try and forget because it makes up me, and I like reminiscing about those times for my own good. But doing that am I hurting another? Am I being selfish and only doing myself a favor? Am I taking both sides into consideration? Should I.. ? It hurts to the point where deep inside, I engrave a whole which I can not fix.

You'll be smiling and dazing at things that you have no control over. Dazed out, staring in midair reminiscing wondering how things were.

I kind of know I'm hurting myself intentionally, but it feels good. Pain is pleasure, the joy that kills what else is there. Quotes speak to me, it speaks my mind.

The moon looks amazing tonight. It looks as if it hung with strings with a lamp behind it. Looks amazing. Funnily I hoped for a full moon

Deep Inside

Have you ever had that instant feeling where you can say so much shit about one particular person but deep inside you know you're lying to yourself? As much as you think you despise that person, you don't. Lying to yourself became so easy that you even forgot that you once shared a connection, memories and smiles together. Lied so much that 'ew' was an instant remark after hearing their name. Until the person who you thought took over their place proves to you that no, in fact their place still exists somewhere deep inside your, heart.

Going through something over and over, pain doesn't even become an issue.